It has been a while since i were here 😁 too many things happened, some of them already erased from memory, adhd ppl has limited memory btw 😁. we are like a computor with a low RAM, everything is loaded directly on the hardware i hope 😁 not sure though 🤷🏻♀️
As u already know, i hate drugs and i was always proud of never using them or being even interested to use. I dont smoke, i dont do drugs, hardly drink..but since i started with studies i needed help as my adhd-RAM memory sucks, that means that all academical litterature i have to read, i do it like 3 times in order to make the contest to become a knowledge. So i decided to consultate with a doctor, as a result got prescription, an adhd medicine, called.. hmm concerta🙄 🤣 i mean what kind of name is it? 🤭 someone from entertainment industry works at farmacy or 🤣
Day after day were passing but i didnt dare take the medicine, fighting with my principles, sleeping poorly as a result of reading overload .. i am in general bad reader..dont have a patience .. but academical literature could be fun..even though the vass majority write without feeling of how to catch readers attention. Thats shame ((
Concerta is a yellow medicine. And it has an amfetamin in it, very weak, u cant get high of it. Every time i took those tiny yellow pills in my hand, i got shaky. Sometimes brain is hard to break, an old rule deep from childhood stopping my hand.. i felt like i would fail to that girl who promiced to never ever use drugs. I decided to take as much time as i need, not pushing myself but rather trying to work over negativeness, getting used to the idea of adhd medicine, trying to sense with brains stubborness
Reading medication description was not a good idea 😅😅 not helpfull at all ☺ i felt even more insecure and scared on top of it.. Oh My GOD! The side effects part was HUGE! like hundreds of versions of what may happen 🤣🤣 this medicine must be a joke 😛😛 i might lose sex drive is not as terrible as the part where i get depressed and kill myself 😂.. whaaatt thee fuuuck! Who approved this 💩💩? Come on..guys 😬🤯😵😳☹ couldnt u do better?? 😁
I googled other adhd medicine.. and all of them have similar number or more side effect list. Nevertheless ppl say it helps🤷🏻♀️ interesting how..
After one month waiting I finally tried it. Lowest adult dosage. To my greatest surprise i felt nothing. Zero. Nada. After one week nothing has changed and it started to feel like a joke, but real one 😅 This supposed to fix me .. but it didnt.. i had some itchings, hands and legs, but it was gone second week. I asked people around me, if they noticed any changes in my behavior, but they didnt. At one moment i just cried, very strange and unexpected outbreak. The miracle started on week 2. I was able to read without 3 times reading 👁. What a relief! Scrolling quickly through all texts and catching words as they started to stick directly, talking to me. Wooowww.. on the other habd , my already limited social capacity mitigated enormously as studies start to consume all time..
Nightclubs was ok with concerta except that i stopped to react on alcohol. I normally felt the impact of it after half glass of wine since i am not a rutine drinker.. .now i needed to consume 3 times more in order to feel it..Afterparty wasnt funny ..i have never ever threw up after alcohol consumption. Never ever. As i said before alcohol, nikotin, drugs is not my shit.. but with concertas involvement things were different .. i felt so bad day after enourmous consumption of alcohol. is this a hangover? Yes it is.. very bad headache. I dont understand one thing.. guys saying they get horny when hangover.. i had zero sex thoughts, bloody headache was killing the body.. eventually i fell asleep, after 6 hours i was back to normal 😁 so adhd medicine and alcohol are not compatible 🥴😜 bad news for drinkers 😁
Party..party.. since restrictions are gone ppl are partying as hell.. so do i 🥳🥳 on my first free-from-corona party i ended up on.. guess where?? a student party.. but as thirsty as i was to have party in nice modern surroundings, not in hidden underground shabby secret places.. so i entered party of 20 years old "children".. here dancing lookes like collective jumping up and down 🤣 why to jump? 🤔 A bartender was attracting visitors attention , very well trained big white guy, girls jumping on him.. touching his trained arms and making noise. So sweet with young curious girls.. i was always reserved type when young, never coming forward first, in our culture guys chase girls, never vice versa .. i like european style, openness of girls makes me jealous 😁 i was ordering wine and this same bartender, obviously tired of girls hanging on him, was very nice and for the moment i thought ge was flirtish with me..i turned around to see that maybe there is someone else behind me .. but it was just me..
I decided to ignore the signs... oldfashioned way.. but not in rude way cause he was very young, like 20-25. I danced and had fun. No collective jumps 🤣 two separate jumping-dancers decided to unite, so we had a big circle of jumpers 🕺💃🕺💃.. completely ignoring music and jumping against music tact. Bartender was invited to something and gone, by the time i turned to left while dancing, he was taking off his shirt and with a big smile looking towards me.. bare upper body showing his muscles..immediately girls run to him , taking selfies.. i turned around, continuing to dance.. letting children to have a selfie time.. he was kind of unswedish in his behavior.. taking off shirt ☺☺ that must something students do, how would I know, my student life didnt look like that 😁
After second glass of wine i was still sober. I felt nothing. Nada. Ordered the third glass of white wine. And it started to work. I dont like to drink , what i like is a happiness coming out if nowhere , like many giggle attacks simultaneously. And i dont need a reason for it.. i can laugh at anything 🤣 its anazing actually... so i took my glass of wine, found a secluded corner and parked my little ass there 🍑🍑 i sent couple of messages to diverse ppl where i am giggling and laughing. I forgot about where i am and lift my legs up, feet on the small round table, giggling and happy..a guard came asking to not to lie on the seats.. i obeyed , as soon as he left feet were back and i was chatting with my friends, telling them about alcohol issue etc in the middle of my happy moment a hand landed on my leg, interrupting my activity, from lying position i could see ...the bartender??! .. he stroke my leg gently and then left.. i didnt have time to react.. by the time i wanted to scream at him, he was gone.. and i forgot him same moment.. miracle of happiness..
5 minutes later he is back with 2 glasses of something ..i think it was what is called shots. But not small ones, was like 3 times bigger volume.. he handed me a lemon, gave me one of the glasses, " its complimentary for u" .. blond guy, blue eyes, tall and like a hulk.. i hesitated.. should i? He works here, he cant put a shit in it.. I decided to try shots.. never had before in sweden.. i have had tequila shots in italy, germany, mexico.. but they were kind of small small.. this swedish version was huge glass.. but hell yes! . We cheered each other "skål".. he finished all of it at once... while i could only 1/3, it tasted like hell.. tequila is softer.. then someone called him and when he turned around i took my 2/3 left shot and went quickly to another room, running away from bartenders attention.. i suddenly realised that he might think that i am a student since it was a student party and my outfit was too young, and i dont dance like 50 years old.. i mean there were a lot of girls around, hanging on him. I was least showing interest.. non-swedish, not interested.. very illogical behavior. Wouldnt normally guys go for easy bet?
In another room they had very young, most probably a student 😁, dj. I finished shots left 🥂 it tasted still hell .. too strong.. much stronger than wine.. party was getting late .. but i was having a restart .thanx to shots.. dj changes a song and all of a sudden i wanted to dance in front of dj 🤣.. so i climbed upp on dj podium and started dancing next to a lame guy 🤣🤣 we were dancing in front of dj table .. i was screaming, waving like a rock star..shots-shots-shots u work differentways ...i dont even remember the song which is not like me...in the middle of my party feeling a hand lies on my shoulder, from behind.. angry dj? Not at all, a bartender suddenly is next to dj with a big innocent smile and all i could say - what are u doing here? ( i left u in another room where is ur workplace) i was smiling back to the innocent babyface 🧒🏼 i cant be rude to kids.. but "babyface" suddenly pulled all his body over the dj table and grabbed my both shoulders softly and kissed my chic very close to mouth.. then i just realised i cant be rude, but also i need to stop this.. NOW... this is not supposed to happen.. so i took my stuff and left the club abruptly .. end of the story !
I have made up my mind.. i am going to change the medicine. I want to be able to drink once a week 😆 i like enourmous happiness moment.. Besides i had another side effect, which i am not going to discuss here, that was not mentioned among hundreds of others mentioned 😁 now i have to wait weeks in order to meet a doctor. Today is day 4 without concerta , it slowly leaves my body.. i read one girls blogg and her reaction on concerta was very different, she became aggressive instead. Another man mentioned that he lost appetite. I had none of those.. feels strange that we can experience such a difference in reactions..
Wow! This was a huge text 😁 to compencate weeks of abcence.. btw i found new song on spotify "Moth to a flame", swedish house mafia and the weeknd, soft song
