I havent been here for a while. Main reason is because i have some minor studies to do where i write and rewrite a lot. No time left for the diary 😌
I have had a lot of sex during my absence here 🤣 at least that part is still under control. We had an extra guy again and it was same rat beef. He is so fucking hairy.. as a bear from Siberia 🐻😁 i am not against hairy men, find it even sexy but i know very few who has as much as this poor guy 😁 so even in a blindfold i could immediately feel it was him. Find it strange that he was surprised - how did u know it was me?? 😱😂 Your fur is prerty unique dude 😁
I told him that i expected him to have more self respect and not show up after last humiliation, but he replied - fuck self respect, i want to meet u and fuck u. 🤣🤣 loser 😁 but sweet loza 😁
When conversations turn this way, with "this way" i mean that i sense a submissive bitch coming out, then i totally forget about sex and start to play. I dont like submissive guys, sexually, but it tickles my brain, the adhd-brain 🤫😉
- do you wanna be my bitch?
- i do, i like to obey
- u said u were dominant
- i am switch
- ok, bitch
- start to massage my feet.. be a good boy
- of course. Do you want me to combine with legs.
- if i wanted that i would have told u so. Shut up and do my feet.
- ok
- now do my back..harder on shoulders..softer in the middle
Now i want oral, weak tounge version.....
I want this..do that.. etc etc
He was obeying and enjoying. Like a dog 🐶🐕. I enjoyed it in my head but not with my body. Submissive men dont turn me on. Its more like a game than a fuck. I ordered him to lie on his back so I would ride him. Little slave in him was on his toes. I did ride him but felt nothing. Mental satisfaction only. I grabbed his throat while riding - "such a bitch!" This time he had good erection and he cum. But i didnt, wasnt even close. I could have been a good dominatrix, embrasing the role immediately, but i get no other pleasure than tickles in the brain 🤷🏻♀️ i dont want to meet him.. too weak to my taste..
Then he left, and came my ordinary fucker who is never submissive. I have tried to switch him and still try but it always ends with me being his bitch. He didnt like me trashtalking him with guy nr one, i did it on purpose, i like to mess around 😁 then he didnt like me turning his friend into my bitch 🤣 what am i suppose to do? I warned him before to be sure to invite real men not submissive bitches. submissive men are very much attracted to dominant women like me. I cant say i feel the same though 😂. I did cum though .. and he did too..yippiii👏
I had last date on sunday. He, the greatest fucker of all times, moves out of the city. My fucker has to live in Another city for a while. Bad bad news 😑 I am not happy. He promised to find a solution so that we can continue to fuck. Feels complicated. Meanwhile i get a lot of side offers but i hesitate. It might feel exciting in the beginning untill i get bored.
My fucker has a secret, he is avoiding some topics , sometimes lies to get rid of curious me 😂 I think he is still in love with his bitch 😁 a miserable Romeo. I dont think he likes me, maybe he just feel sorry for me 😂
I want to believe that i could be likable, thats my bubble. Since i dont believe in it myself, so i behave so that ppl hate me. Which then turns into" I dont care". My doctor said that i have no feelings and she might be right. I dont know how to have them, i think i intentionally fake feelings as if i am capable but i am not.
I can only relate to death and to loneliness. I have been in many accidents close to death but Lucifer decided its not my time yet. I was in burning accident, have a third degree burn, i was in a drowning accident and saved my own ass, still afraid of water, i was in explosion accident and was stuck in a tunnel for hours, it made me claustrophobic, i jumped out of a driving car that was trying to obduct me, a rapist, not even a scratch.. my uncles crazy shepherd dog which had a size of two wolves was trying to kill me, i run as crazy reaching ferrari Speed with a dog right behind me, i was 11, i still hate and scared of dogs. You can easily run away from bulls or buffalo, which i did, but real mountain shepherd dog, they are more dangerous than pit bulls. I have several scars.. not deadly but not Beautiful 😁 Feels like the more i tried to be carefull the more accidents i got into. Today i am careless, it comes when it comes, i just want a life with no fear, instead of fear a life. Not even devil wants me 😁 best news of all times 😂
Next time i have to not forget to write about my club-dance adventure 😉 too tired right now
