One of the signs of adhd is that ur kid has difficulty to make new Friends and often ends up with difficult kids or kids in similar situation. So how you can help ur kid?
First of all, do not make friendship a big deal. In Sweden all educational institutions, daycares have one same question to kids - do you have friends , what are their names, etc. And if kid doesnt have a friend then it is not normal, the staff will try to matchmake and find a friend. This bs most probably have destroyed not just adhd kids but even introvert kids and any kid who doesnt meet "a friendship" pattern. I dont know who came up with the idea that all kids need to have friends but it is not the right approach.
So first of all make it clear to ur kid that no friends is ok. Kids u play with doesnt have to be ur friend. You dont have to have a friend to feel like other who has. Try to build friendship between kids, if u have more than one, so that they have each other. U as a parent can be friend as well.
A pressure of friendship I personally never had. My sisters and brother were accepting me, adhd was unknown. I tried to have friends when was kid but failed all the time. I have today only one friend and we worked together, nothing sexual, just good friendship where we even today can fight 😛. Not having friends didnt bother me cause having friends was not an issue at school or in the society. No one I knew suffered from not having friends, this trend of friendship exists in Sweden but not back home, not even today. To have friends is good, just dont exaggerate the need of it so that in the end it makes u feel bad about urself, especially when u r kid.
Why do we have difficulty with friends? Many reasons. We think faster than we talk. We rearrange games making it more interesting but then we might forget to let all be equally engaged - so tell ur kid to play taking turns or together cause it is more fun isnt it!!! We have difficulty to control impulses, worse with boys than girls. This is the most difficult moment when it comes to advice. Its like u have a task to stop ur car while u have no brakes. Not possible. What u can do is to make ur child to grow in nonviolent environment, never encourage violence, cause later on kid wont be able to stop violence escalation. I have violence in me, even though i muzzle it but it is inside, under control. With ages it gets better, slowing down.
Feed ur childs brain by teaching chess instead. I used to like chess since i was like 6-7, its a multitasking game, made me calm down, taught me to see how each move causes something on the chess board. We used to have newspapers with a chess combination and task to win a game in 5-6-7 steps for example. I think it was fun to find those steps on my own. Its important to not to minimize chess game to winning or loosing, but instead to learning a concept which will lead to - the way i do things gives one impact to my mother, another to my friend, a different to my cat. To learn to observe a chain reaction and to try to avoid bad situations, just like in chess ♟️♟️it will eventually create a form of caring for others.
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