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About Adhd as promised.

 

Adhd is a disorder, not really a sickness. Many think that all ppl have a piece of adhd 😁.. maybe. We will come to it later.

 

So what is adhd? In short, is when parts of the brain have low activity and we, who carry adhd, try all the time to activate those parts of brain through doings, physical or mental. We have to do something all the time so that we force brain parts to be active, and things we do for it can be amazing, or not so much 💥🔥🎊👅

 

When u sleep at night, some times u might have a single electriclike twitch, thats when ur brain suddenly thinks that ur body is too inactive/dead and sends an impuls to check if it is still alive. Adhd is kind of vice versa, body checks brain 😁😁 hey u, are u with me! 😊

 

So why it is so scary to have it? Because its diagnosed by psychiatric care where all other scary sicknesses diagnosed ?! 😁 Adhd is not as scary as it sounds. It has different levels, from light to complicated. It becomes a problem when it starts to disturb the life of the one who carries it.

 

How it can be disturbing? In many ways. The energy in itself is amazing 🌺🌀, the rest can be a problem. Concentration, socialising, temperament, impulses, etc

 

Social disturbance is often caused by "normal" people not being able to understand the behavior pattern, then the "normal" ppl do not allow us in their circle. Adhd ppl, raw version of it, are normally unpredictable, dont follow courtesy rules, stick out, thats how we become outsiders. Raw version adhd means, the original adhd. Then many of us, in order to be part of "normal" ppl try to control adhd part so that it doesnt show itselt, we surpress it daily in order to look normal.

 

In order to control adhd one needs to have an enormous selfcontrol. I started to try to control me when i was like 5-6, but not because i was hyper. The reason that pushed me to it was a fear. Domestic violence made me start with selfcontrol. It was kind of a survival instinct. Then it developed to more..

 

Control builds a fasade of a calm person. But as you understand it is not an easy task and at some point fasade doesnt stop ur true urself. But it works in general even though many adhd ppl think that i am wrong when controlling it. Its an individual decision, how each of us decides to deal with it.

 

They say that because we are not accepted by "normal" ppl as we are, many end up in jail, taking a criminal way of life where to be aggresive is an advantage. Fighting and aggresivity can be part of adhd. But then remember that it is inability to control impulses that leads to it, not always but some times it is a usefull feature! Let us imagine u r in a dangerous situation, u see a threat and need to do something. From the moment i see threat i feel enormous wave swiping all of me, the anger and agrresivity wave that i should let out to save my ass 😁 everything turns dark and i am ready to fight 😁 i let my impulses to come out then, destroying my fasade. Very usefull if in danger😁😁 BUT in a wrong country and situation it might get u also killed or injured. 

 

There are methods to treat adhd through normalising brain activity. Medication. Medication activates the brain so that we no longer need to check the brain by own means. Brain gets all "food" needed. Many ppl has become better through the medication. But many didnt like it.

 

Honestly i havent tried any medication yet so i dont have any opinion what is good or not. I know it sounds strange, so many would die to get hold of it. Here comes the reason why. Some medication is an amfetamin, a drug.  I am shitlessly scared of drugs that might create an addiction. I have never ever tried any narcotics either. I somehow programmed myself to never ever try it 😁 I am not even curious which i  normally am. To medicate  adhd puts me in a difficult position to accept drugs and with that to break a firm piece of me. At the same time i want one day or at least one time to feel how is it to function without adhd. Am i going to like it or to hate it? Its a dilemma and the only way to get a reply is to use the medicine. I am still fighting with myself 🤺🤺

 

They say that all ppl has a piece of adhd. I think that there might be some truth in it. We all talk in our head, less or more; we can have difficulty to concentrate then and that; we can be fed up and say what we think,  bare unpleasant truth; we have energy boosts time after time feeling like a wild horse 🐎 in the middle of the savanna 😁 so any of you might relate to our situation, the difference is that we have it constantly, flight or fight for us is a normal condition. I want all ppl to have an open mind and let us be part of normal with all that strange adhd bears🤗

 

Adhd is genetical, there are fake adhd ppl who diagnosed but not really are adhd.  So what would happen if u, a normal person, get adhd medication?! U will be speeded up and will show adhd symptoms 😁 while in real adhd, brain medication will increase weak activity bringing it to normal. But for normal brain it will increase existing normal avtivity and overload brain speeding it up. 

 

The best part of adhd is energy that u can use on so many good things and creativity with it, because we need to keep the brain active, any creativity is like a natural medication. Just give us space for creation! To solve problems is another plus. Everything that tickles brain feels good ! Tickle us 😁

 

Adhd ppl , in raw version, are not easy to handle. Fasade helps but then no one really knows who you are. Under interviews i suddenly realised that there is no man in the world that knows me, that i managed to hide me so well that i could even get married. It sounds like i am a psychopath, manipulating myself first of all, in order to be like others. But if i stayed myself, no one would ever accepted me! Except other adhd ppl, we understand each others needs.

 

They say that adhd ppl has higher sexuality. Hmmm i dont think so. Its all about tickling the brain. If sex tickles it, then its a match. But I dont think adhd produces more hormons increasing our sex drive. Some ppl say that medication increases sexual drive, which i find strange. I dont need more drive than I have today. And i dont think its right to use medication for that purpose!

 

I have fucked ppl with and without adhd 😁 my conclusion is that i tend to like calm guys which drags my energy down to Earth. I also like a lot of tantra and massage as a foreplay cause that makes me calm down. I love head massage, it makes me horny. I am not joking. Touching my head , circling with fingers starting sending waves and i get horny 🙈🙊  i learnt this before i was diagnosed. I tend like men who sincerely like me cause rarely anyone really like me in my raw version. Many adhd ppl might feel the same. To be accepted as u r is the best thing one can wish. 

 

This was just a short introduction to adhd, which is a huge theme and still being studied. No picture of me today, hope u will survive the loss 😁 instead its a picture from universal studios when i was there - i had like the best brain trickles EVER. Fantasie world and science fictions are my favorites cause there is no end to ones imagination and tickles 😘⛪🌋🎢🎡 

 

P.s. someone send me a question , why i always sound so negative in my dairy. Maybe because English is not my language, neither is swedish. And if i write on my mother tongue u wouldnt understand 😝 i dont think i sound negative, on the other hand my thoughts and behavior irl are free from filters, i try to filter in some situations so that i sound less straight..but not here. Somewhere i need to be myself 😁 thats a question. Is it ok to be yourself or is it better to pretend to be someone else!